Jesse James
What a time to be alive, and more importantly, to be in charge of the shopping list. Growing up, there wasn’t a childhood problem that Totino’s Pizza Rolls couldn’t fix. Adult problems require a little more, however. Totino’s understands this, and they’ve got us covered. Totino’s new Mini Snack Mix is here for you. The Snack Mix even comes in two versions. You get fired? Celebrating a promotion? Crushed by the abyss of eternal loneliness? Gender reveal party not quite lit enough? Break out the Snack mix, and everything is instantly better.
Whether it’s the highs or lows, a curated mix of our favorite frozen finger foods is always the answer. The “Original” packs, which come with Pepperoni Pizza Roll Snacks, Cheesy Marinara Bites, Mozzarella Sticks and Garlic Bread Bites are a gondola ride through the finest freezer sections Italy has to offer. A cultural excursion all the way to the tip of the boot-shaped nation. Also, for the more patriotic appetites, “American Favorites” salute flavor combos including Cheeseburger Pizza Roll Snacks, Ham and Cheese Bites, Cheddar Bites and Potato Bites.
Snack Mix Done Right!
This collection of American Favorites was selected from the legendary spread provided during the writing of The Declaration of Independence. The conveyor belt at the Totino’s factory has allegedly been replaced by highly trained Bald Eagles who mix the assortments by the talon-full. You’ve been prepped, and it’s now time to clear the freezer because the greatest invention in the history of snacking is set to hit the cold section starting “Fall 2019.” Take this opportunity to get rid of all those gross frozen vegetables and make room for “Daddy’s Little Helper” right next to the ice cream.
At a suggested retail price of $8.79 a bag, it’s nice to know that peace is about $9 away. Keep an eye out at your local grocer for the release. Follow the line of college students to the exact location.
Photos via Totino’s
